Reluctant Bridesmaid

About one month ago while I was in Tasmania staying with my mother after my step father had died, my mother received a phone call. I was exhausted after climbing up and down those 21 stairs about a million and three times that day so I saw this phone call as a means to vegetating and a time to regain some energy. I was blissfully off in my own little world day dreaming about all things good when my mothers surprised voice when up a notch, rudely interrupting my quiet time. She said...

OH REALLY, NOOOOOOOO (INSERT EVIL LAUGH) OHHHHH, YOU HAVE TO ASK HER NOW, I HAVE TO SEE HER REACTION, GO ON ASK HER NOW. Well this kind of got my attention and I started listening intently to figure out who my mother was talking to. I had also decided there and then, that if my mother just HAD to see my reaction to whatever the question was, that naturally, there would be NO reaction at all.

I didn't have to wait long, for just a few moments later my mother walks into the room cheerfully chatting away to the unknown voice on the other end of the phone. As she approaches me she tells this voice, 'Ok here she is, I can't wait to see her reaction', and hands me the phone without another word, but with a very large smile on her face.Hmmm

I don't want to take this call at all, I am not amused, but was I going to let my mother know that I was curious, reluctant and a tad grumpy for being taken away from my blissfully ignorant quiet time. NO of course not. So I take the phone and say in my nicest voice.... 'Hello?'

It was my sister's voice on the other end of the phone that answered me. She didn't waste time with any niceties, she got right to the point. 'Heeeeeey Sis... You know how I am getting married?' 'Yes' I reply. 'Well, I would like you to be one of my bridesmaids!' Inside I faint and as I faint I am screaming at the top of my lungs NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. But to the outside world, I am well mannered and polite and calm and composed. So I reply.... 'Really, you would like ME as your bridesmaid, are you sure?' 'Yes I am sure' she replies. 'So what do you say, will you be one of my bridesmaids, I am having both my sisters, so you have to say yes, what do you say?'

My head races. Me, bridesmaid... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, why would she want me, we have nothing in common, we hardly speak to each other, yet she wants me as a bridesmaid... Arrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So of course, I take a deep breathe and say in a calm, yet appropriately happy voice, 'Yes I would love to be your bridesmaid, thank you for asking me. ' What else can I say. One can NOT say NO to such a question. I am numb and shocked that she has asked me, I don't want to do it but I have no choice.

That was one month ago, like I said earlier. Since then I have tried everything I could to get out of it. You know, 'Oh I think I will be out of the country for your wedding, you don't mind do you? Oh, it's on a ????day, awwww sorry I will be working on ???day! Did I tell you I can't have my photo taken, I will be your bridesmaid, but NO photos. The flash gives me seizures. What.... I have to wear a dress, you said nothing about me having to wear a dress, oh, but I don't wear dresses. I have seen this really nice pair of jeans that I could wear though.'

So after a month of these wonderfully supportive comments of mine.... I saw her on the weekend just gone and she started to talk about her wedding. Naturally I told her that I thought she was rushing into this and should wait about oooooooooooooooo a year or two. When suddenly she turns around to me and says 'You don't want to be my bridesmaid do you?' Ha, was it THAT obvious I say to myself, but to her I say 'Why would you say that?' She looks at me seriously and says 'You have been freaking out the more I speak about it, I am waiting for you to have a panic attack, so, would you be happier if I made you the official wedding photographer and not my bridesmaid'?

It was then that I almost jumped up and kissed my sister. Right then, at that moment in time I actually loved my sister. Inside I was doing the chicken dance, I was turning somersaults, I was so happy and relieved. I couldn't contain that excitement, I tried, but it was impossible. I am really NOT the bridesmaid kinda person.

It was about an hour later that I realised that although I had been excused from being the bridesmaid that it dawned on me that she wants me to be the official wedding photographer.... erm hello world, have you not seen my photographs? I have six months of photographs on facebook, one photo every day goes on facebook, that is over 180 photos on view and erm .... I DON'T DO PEOPLE. I do nature, I do bugs, I do easy stuff, I don't do people.

I make a point of asking if she is having an official photographer and she say says 'Yes, you.' I explain that I don't actually photograph people and she said 'So you had better learn, fast, the wedding is in April!'

So I faint again, I scream 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' again, silently on the inside. Looks like I have to take a crash course on Wedding Photography, it can't be that hard, can it!!!!!!