Television was a big part of my life as a kid, it helped me to escape, to hide from all things scary and to get lost in make believe. I loved make believe.
Remember Scooby Doo, Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men, Adventure Island, Humphrey Bear, Lassie, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Gilligan's Island, The Brady Bunch, Get Smart, The Mickey Mouse Club. Gosh the list goes on and on.
When I was a kid, I could be anyone I wanted to be. I was famous one day, a super hero another day, but I was not your regular super hero. I was Batfink because 'my super sonic radar will save us' or I was George of the Jungle.... watch out for that (thud) tree.
Remember Ready please Mr Music..... I used to love that television show when I was a child. Romper Room, I used to eagerly sit there time and time again, waiting so excitedly for Miss "Whatever her name was', to see me through her magic mirror and say my name. Every day I would wait for it, but she never did say my name, ever.
I loved Bananas In Pyjama's - are you thinking what I'm thinking B2, I think I am B1. It was always an exciting few minutes. And I can't forget .. there's a bear in there, and a chair as well, there are people with games and stories to tell. Open wide, come inside, it's Play School.
Oh and I adored Mr Squiggle the man from the moon and the grumpy old blackboard... hurrrry upppp. But the best one of all would have to be HR Pufnstuf. Come and play with me Jimmy, come and play with me, and I will take you on a trip far across the sea-ee-eee-eeeee-eeeeeee. Every show was filled with good and bad things, happy and sad things, scary and funny things. I would get lost in that show and I had a flute that I used to pretend was Freddy. 'Save me Jimmy, save me, save me'.
The land of make believe was so much better as a kid. As a kid we were allowed to pretend, allowed to daydream, allowed to drift off to never never land. I have always thought of myself as Peter Pan, I never did grow up, I never even considered growing up most of the time. I didn't see the point. Grown up were always grumpy and busy. Grown ups never had time for fun or riding bikes or playing hide and seek. They never got dirty and they never ever climbed trees. I think a part of you dies when you grow up. Something inside is not allowed to stay, when you grow up. You have to 'cross over' to the other side and I think that is sad and just not fair.. it's NOT FAIR.
So as a boring grown up I am meant to be boring and refined and pretty. I am meant to mingle and be quiet and calm and dignified. I am meant to slot right into that stereotype housewife and business woman. But I don't slot in, that is my problem.
I love daydreaming, I love playing games, I love lego and puzzles and laughing. I love running around the back yard with my dog. I love the feel of grass or sand between my toes. I love jeans and sneakers. Most of all I love bubbles. I adore bubbles. Bubbles are so cool. I love to lay on the grass and watch the clouds float by and look at the different shapes and patterns they make.
I get lost in thoughts and daydreams all the time. I look at someone who is talking to me and I see they are talking to me, I see their mouth moving, but I don't hear a word they say. I am away somewhere, by myself, lost in yet another daydream. It can be a very bad thing when I am in an important meeting, but it does make me think fast when I have to add input.
My husband says he has three kids, instead of two. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head whenever I try to have fun. I don't want to grow up and be like him. I don't want something inside me to die, I like my land of make believe.
I have learnt to sneak.... I sneak around him. I sneak outside to play. My dog is good at playing. My kids used to be good at playing and used to love having me around. But they have out grown me now, which is so sad. They have crossed over to the other side, they now stand there and roll their eyes and shake their heads. I try to lead by example. I try to entice them to be kids again. I try to help them remember fun things but I can't get through.
Looks like I will just have to play make believe by myself. Looks like I will just have to think silly thoughts, zoooooom around like a crazy person, burst into song and smile at thoughts only I can see and hear, all by myself. I don't think I will ever grow up and I don't think I really want to. I like being 'crazy daisy' or 'daisy doo'. I like getting lost in daydreams and I like being a big kid. A big kid who never grew up.
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