Stay Little Snakey, Stay

Every day I walk along the river, there are signs everywhere warning of snakes. But I know from experience that if I stay on the walking path I will be fine. Of course the snakes don't read the signs and sometimes they rudely decide to sun themselves plonk in the middle of MY walking path. This is quite an inconvenience as I am then forced to walk around the snake. Remember. I just finished saying that I will be fine so long as I keep to the path. Well...


Quite a few years ago, not one but two snakes decided quite rudely to sun themselves in the middle of MY path. Everyone who was walking along the path at the time had stopped  as they could see no way around the snakes. But being younger and more crazy than I am now (if you can believe that), I didn't give a moments thought nor hesitation as I rode off the path and around the snakes, clearing the last one by a good 30 centimetres. I was feeling very pleased with myself as I hadn't missed a pedal push and was keeping up my very comfortable pace. 


Just as I was about to gloat to myself as I was almost, but not quite past the second snake... I saw them, the third and fourth snakes, and there was nothing I could do about it. There was nowhere else for me  to go. On my left was the path and the two very large tiger snakes sunning themselves and to my right was a dense clump of very tall two metre high reeds on the bank of the river. There was nothing for me to do but to ride my bike right over the top of these two smaller tiger snakes in the unmown grass immediately in front of me. 


Letting out an ear piercing scream I ran right over the snakes. Please note that all this happened in an instant. The first one didn't move, I think it was in shock that I had fearlessly had the nerve (stupidity) to ride over it. The second one however, was not as pleasant as the first and was much longer than its friend. As I rode over it, right through it's middle, it reared up over a foot into the air. Now remember, I was on a push bike and I was pedalling like a mad woman.  


As the snake reared up, my left foot was pedalling down. My quick thinking and miraculous speed saved me (it was instinct, but don't tell anyone) from its deadly venomous bite. I threw both legs into the air practically above my head, increased the ear piercing scream to a spine tingling horrified roar that is remembered to this day as the scariest thing my husband has ever heard in his life, and watched the snake miss my ankle by millimetres, as I continued on my way.


I didn't look back, I didn't slow down. Nothing anyone yelled to me could get me to stop pedalling that bike. I think I broke the record that day in travelling around that river.  I never stopped until I had gotten to a carpark a few kilometres away where I knew I would be safe. 


That was my first personal encounter with a snake but it was not to be my last.


A few years later, whilst walking up a mountain trail in Warburton, Victoria (the closest mountain to Melbourne that actually has snow in winter, well just a sprinkling, but it's still snow). I was tired and bored and couldn't (be bothered), walking up yet another mountain just to turn around and walk all the way back down again. We happened to come across a comfy flat rock  in a lovely shaded area beside the track and I declared, 'I'm waiting here for you guys to get back, I can't make it to the top today'.  After a little grumpiness, it was decided that I would be safe here and the others went on without me. 


I had a lovely time sitting there watching all the crazy hikers walk by me. I smiled politely shared a few niceties and got lost in daydreams as I waited for my hiking party to return. 


Eventually I could hear them coming but had decided not to jump up but to wait for them to come to me, no point in exerting myself if I didn't have to, I thought to myself, so I waited for them to arrive.


Strangely as they arrived they all stopped talking and smiling and walked right on past me. Now this puzzled me and I was trying to figure out what was happening and was just about to shout out to them when my husband, who stayed back while everyone else continued past me, walked up to me. He said the strangest thing in the strangest voice as he approached me.


'Don't move, stay where you are until I get to you, I am going to take your arm and walk you over to the others, don't say a word and stay calm'. Well I had no idea what he was talking about, what a crazy he is today I was thinking to myself. Sure enough he walked over, grabbed my arm, helped me up and walked me quietly and calmly over to the others who by this time had stopped walking a little further down the track. 


I was still confused when we had reached the others and finally blurted out 'what on earth was that about?'.  As if on cue, with grim faces, they all pointed back over to the rock I had just been sitting on for the last 30 minutes. I followed their pointing fingers until my gaze fixed itself on that rock. To my horror while I had been sitting there a huge brown snake lay sleeping curled up in a huge coil. I was later told it was an Australian  copperhead snake. 


It took quite a few minutes to sink in, but once that scene in front of my eyes reached my brain, I let out a small involuntary gasp and ran down that hill so fast that the others couldn't catch me. They were laughing and laughing at me because the danger was past once I had left the rock. But once again, nothing was going to stop me running until I had reached the safety of the carpark. 


All this brings me to a few days ago and my trip to Anakie Gorge. Apparently I had been  there years ago, but I don't remember, mountains all look the same to me, if you have seen one mountain, you have seen them all. Anyway I did have to get my 'one photo a day photo' so I agreed to claim another boring mountain. Well actually I agree to climb half of the boring mountain (yes I know its a gorge, but anything you have to climb is a mountain to me). 


Because of the floods that had swept through the area only a week or so earlier, the little Stony creek had lots of water in it and the whole area was very wet. It was nice enough I guess but I really wasn't in the mood for bush walking, so I barely took a photo. On the way down the gorge though, we stumbled across some excitement.


A man was standing beside something just off the path and appeared to be directing people around the obstacle. As we strained to see what the obstacle was, my husband calls out to me that he is sure it is a snake. I was thinking, gosh if that is a snake, it was a huge one. I didn't take my eyes off that black mass as we walked closer and closer, and I turned my camera on just in case the mass decided to 'run away'. 


As we approach we can see that, sure enough, it was a huge red-bellied black snake, i mean humongous red-bellied black snake and to my surprise I was not scared at all. I was fascinated and had my camera poised to snap the perfect photo (or 50). 


My husband told me not to get too close if I must take a photo (yes I must), and the man was busy telling the growing crowd of people that this is a red-bellied black snake, it is venomous and it will kill you if you try to pick it up. I stop what I am doing and look at him for the first time to make an involuntary face at him, I mean, yeah right, how many people would be dumb enough to try to pick that thing up. We are taught from childhood never to go near or try to kill a snake, silly man. Then I got back to business, taking photos of the snake. It was wide awake and just laying there in kind of a tangle sunning itself. It was obviously getting lots of food because it was so fat. 


People started emerging from everywhere and we both thought better of hanging around as that man was bound to scare that snake at any moment. It was turning into a tourist attraction and I didn't really want to be near it when it started moving, so we walked off back down the track to the bottom of the gorge. 

At Anakie Gorge a few days ago

I have seen lots of other snakes fleetingly as I walk along my merry way and we have even had the odd tiger snake slither up from the river along the street outside our house. Snakes are a part of the environment here in Australia and are actually protected for some crazy reason. I don't have to like them but I do have a respect for them. I think of my friends in Europe or Canada who can romp through tall grass or have picnics where ever their hearts desire without having the worry of  snakes jumping out to bite them. Or crocodiles for that matter. 


I have another amazingly dumb story of setting up a picnic beside a lovely river in  Bunderberg Queensland only to be told by someone stopping in a car yelling at us to 'read the bloody sign and get back in your car', but that is another story. 

Listen

Sometimes I feel like screaming 'I think my world has gone'

Sometimes I feel like whispering 'Lord, I can't go on'

Sometimes I feel like crying, but my tears never come 

Sometimes I feel like nothing and my body goes all numb. 

If I'm very quiet and I stay very still

If I'm very quiet and I summon all my will

If I'm very quiet and I'm calm as calm can be

If I'm very quiet maybe you will help me see.

Listen very carefully to what is all around

Listen very carefully to every tiny sound

Listen very carefully, please don't say a word

Listen very carefully, or you'll miss what I've just heard.

Did you hear that sound, a new baby crying

Did you hear that sound, a young child lying

Did you hear that sound, a soldier cocks his gun

Did you hear that sound, a mother lost her son.

Hear the wind, it makes no sound

Hear the rain, it won't fall down

Hear the sun, it shines no more

Hear the snow, refuse to thaw.

Feel that fear, tomorrow's come

Feel that dread, no time to run

Feel that chill, the end is near

Feel that terror, your last frontier.

So touch a heart before it stops

And touch a soul before it's lost

Please touch a friend who feels so bleak

Reach out a hand for her to seek. 

The Land of Make Believe

Remember back, way back, when we were kids. Happy and carefree. Can you remember that far back? I can, I can remember it like it was only yesterday, if I sit for a moment it all comes flooding back so very easily.

Television was a big part of my life as a kid, it helped me to escape, to hide from all things scary and to get lost in make believe. I loved make believe.

Remember Scooby Doo, Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men, Adventure Island, Humphrey Bear, Lassie, Casper the Friendly Ghost,  Gilligan's Island, The Brady Bunch, Get Smart, The Mickey Mouse Club. Gosh the list goes on and on.

When I was a kid, I could be anyone I wanted to be. I was famous one day, a super hero another day, but I was not your regular super hero. I was Batfink because 'my super sonic radar will save us' or I was George of the Jungle.... watch out for that (thud) tree.

Remember Ready please Mr Music..... I used to love that television show when I was a child. Romper Room,  I used to eagerly sit there time and time again, waiting so excitedly for Miss "Whatever her name was', to see me through her magic mirror and say my name. Every day I would wait for it, but she never did say my name, ever.

I loved Bananas In Pyjama's - are you thinking what I'm thinking B2, I think I am B1. It was always an exciting few minutes. And I can't forget .. there's a bear in there, and a chair as well, there are people with games and stories to tell. Open wide, come inside, it's Play School.

Oh and I adored Mr Squiggle the man from the moon and the grumpy old blackboard... hurrrry upppp. But the best one of all would have to be HR Pufnstuf. Come and play with me Jimmy, come and play with me, and I will take you on a trip far across the sea-ee-eee-eeeee-eeeeeee. Every show was filled with good and bad things, happy and sad things, scary and funny things. I would get lost in that show and I had a flute that I used to pretend was Freddy. 'Save me Jimmy, save me, save me'.


The land of make believe was so much better as a kid. As a kid we were allowed to pretend, allowed to daydream, allowed to drift off to never never land. I have always thought of myself as Peter Pan, I never did grow up, I never even considered growing up most of the time. I didn't see the point. Grown up were always grumpy and busy. Grown ups never had time for fun or riding bikes or playing hide and seek. They never got dirty and they never ever climbed trees. I think a part of you dies when you grow up. Something inside is not allowed to stay, when you grow up. You have to 'cross over' to the other side and I think that is sad and just not fair.. it's NOT FAIR.

So as a boring grown up I am meant to be boring and refined and pretty. I am meant to mingle and be quiet and calm and dignified. I am meant to slot right into that stereotype housewife and business woman. But I don't slot in, that is my problem.

I love daydreaming, I love playing games, I love lego and  puzzles and laughing. I love running around the back yard with my dog. I love the feel of grass or sand between my toes. I love jeans and sneakers. Most of all I love bubbles. I adore bubbles. Bubbles are so cool. I love to lay on the grass and watch the clouds float by and look at the different shapes and patterns they make.

I get lost in thoughts and daydreams all the time. I look at someone who is talking to me and I see they are talking to me, I see their mouth moving, but I don't hear a word they say. I am away somewhere, by myself, lost in yet another daydream. It can be a very bad thing when I am in an important meeting, but it does make me think fast when I have to add input.

My husband says he has three kids, instead of two. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head whenever I try to have fun. I don't want to grow up and be like him. I don't want something inside me to die, I like my land of make believe.

I have learnt to sneak.... I sneak around him. I sneak outside to play. My dog is good at playing. My kids used to be good at playing and used to love having me around. But they have out grown me now, which is so sad. They have crossed over to the other side, they now stand there and roll their eyes and shake their heads.    I try to lead by example. I try to entice them to be kids again. I try to help them remember fun things but I can't get through.

Looks like I will just have to play make believe by myself. Looks like I will just have to think silly thoughts, zoooooom around like a crazy person, burst into song and smile at thoughts only I can see and hear, all by myself. I don't think I will ever grow up and I don't think I really want to. I like being 'crazy daisy' or 'daisy doo'. I like getting lost in daydreams and I like being a big kid. A big kid who never grew up.

Shopping Shock

Today I went to the supermarket. Just another boring experience to most of you, but to me a whole new adventure.... Yep, that's right folks, I never go to the supermarket. Can't tell you the last time I ventured through those glass sliding doors to wander aimless around aisle upon aisle of shiny new produce.

So today, I took the big step and entered the 'fresh food people' where 'quality costs less' and gosh, have things changed since I was last there. The first thing I noticed upon entering said supermarket was that the entry turnstile was missing..... where did the turnstile go???? Wasn't it there to stop people walking out with trolley loads of unpaid for food stuffs??? Does this mean that my neighbourhood is so safe and secure that we no longer need turnstiles. How cool is that. It sure was freaky walking through that wide open space instead of the teeny tiny little turnstile.

So here I am standing on the other side of what should have been the entry turnstile.... yeah I know, I have mentioned the turnstile a few times now, but really, it was freaky walking right on through. I remember when I would dart into the supermarket via a free checkout, just to miss that dreaded turnstile. I remember when the turnstile used to turn and people would get caught up in it... silly people. And then the turnstile was automatic and would fly open in front of you, but mostly they would either refuse to open or refuse to close or continually open and close because of the people who would force them open by exiting via the entrance. Ahhh the memories. I miss the turnstile, there is meant to be a turnstile!!!

Sorry, I digressed, now where was I, or should I say, am I. Oh yes, I find myself standing in the bread and fresh cakes area, but we don't need bread or cakes so we (husband is with me), sail right on through to the fruit and vegetable area which was located directly behind that department. Oh my goodness, have you seen the price of fruit lately... I had no idea how expensive fruit was these days. I am truly shocked, truly.

The next stop was at the deli, but it smells yucky so I wonder to the first aisle and check it out. I forget what was in that aisle, it must have been boring. But we make our way up and down each and every aisle. And most of what I see is uneventful and boring... so blah blah blah... and then.....

We reached the girlie aisle, you know hair care, make-up, feminine beauty, you get the picture. Oh my goodness.... the lighting in this aisle was horrible. It was all pinky red, it was very bright and it hurt my eyes just walking down that aisle. What's with that?? Even the shelving is different. How bizarre is that. But I walk down it none the less and check stuff out. It was not very exciting.

But one isle that was a tad exciting was the 'back to school' aisle. I loooooooooooooove stationery and here was a whole aisle, well practically a whole aisle of the stuff. It was fun to look at but, sigh, I didn't buy anything.

I had a quick look at the refrigerated aisles and thought that the juices looked pretty so quickly snapped a photo of them, then said to my husband. I am bored here, and I've seen enough. Are we finished yeeeeeeeeeet???? We weren't, so I started wandering up and down the chocolate aisle as I waited for him to finish filling the trolley.

I am not particularly impressed with the whole supermarket thing, and I noted that everyone else was in such a hurry and not particularly impressed with me as I wander aimlessly down the aisles stopping suddenly to look at something that has caught my eye or randomly moving from the left to the right side of the aisle making it hard to them to dart around me.

My husband said I was lucky not the have been run over by a trolley full of food. I have to agree with him on that one, they are all mental in the supermarket. Busy, busy, zoooom zooooooming around. Oh and one lady totally lost it with her poor little boy and told the whole supermarket that she was 'NOT IN THE MOOD FOR HIS NONSENSE TODAY, SO JUST TRY ME AND SEE WHERE IT GETS YOU, MATE'!. Yeah I think we all silently agreed it was probably not worth trying her patience today. The looks on everyone's faces as she screamed at her little boy, told me we were all on the same page over that one.

When Did We All Become So Australian?

I was going to tell you all about Australia Day in today's blog and what everyone got up to yesterday on the public holiday. I have not ventured outside into the public arena for years and years on this day, so I thought we could all learn about it together. It was a fine summers day and there were lots of events organised both publicly and privately for me to attend. So I set off in good spirits and in high hopes of collecting a good little story to come back with.

But when I went out to observe people yesterday with my trusty camera in tow, everyone was so weird that I thought nahhhh I can't do this. It was just too embarrassing, I really think we are quite a strange lot here in Australia, and we seem to be getting worse every year too. I have to ask... when did everyone become bogans, I was not amused! In fact, I was shocked and terrified at what I saw..... who are these people?

Gosh maybe we are turning into American's, when did we all become so patriotic??? Everywhere I looked people were draped in flags... that is just 'un-Australian', isn't it??

They had flag shorts, flag bathers, flag thongs (as in the Australian kind, not the American kind), flag socks, flag underwear (erm on the outside of their clothing... excuse me???), actual flags tied around their necks, flag t-shirts, flag chairs, flag sunny's (sun glasses for the uneducated), flag umbrellas, flag backpacks, flags on cars, temporary tattoo flags and flag everything else you could possibly think of.... when did we get so weird..... so...American, (if you are American and reading this, I mean it in a nice way for you, but we are not you, if you know what I mean).

I was truly embarrassed just looking at them. This holiday has turned into a circus act and it was the 'scary clowns' who were taking over the show....  It was then that I had to run and hide.... NO Australia Day observations from me today, no sir-ree bob! I had seen enough.

So I packed up my camera and headed for my car, dodging 2 games of cricket being played side by side, dodging the crazy teenage boy draped in the boxing kangaroo kicking a blow up aussie beach ball up a steep hill and finally dodging  two little terrified kids skateboarding down that same steep hill right towards me, before falling off their boards conveniently right in front of me.

Yep luckily I did not write about my day, luckily I did not bore you will all the scary details, luckily I found something else to write about today... now what was that other thing I was going to write about,  ummm...

Birthday Eve

Ok I can not tell a lie, I stole the title from a friend. She has recently had her birthday so that is how I happened to come across that wonderful phrase. But if I acknowledge it, it's not actually stealing, right Patty :)))

Hmm, now where to start today.

Tomorrow the whole nation stops work and has the day off..... FOR MY BIRTHDAY. Yep, the day I was born, they declared it a public holiday.  Well, it is my birthday and, it is a public holiday, so that is my story and I am sticking to it. So they happen to also celebrate Australia Day on MY BIRTHDAY... now rude is that. I was born with the whole 'silver spoon in my mouth' thingy and a bank account and a letter from some dude in some Government Office, the Prime Minister I think, but I can't be bothered going to find it... so some dude will just have to do.

Anyway I hate birthday's, did I say that already??? So every year I usually hide away from the world until the dreaded day is over. I don't celebrate, I don't go out, I don't see anyone, I don't get any presents (I love presents), and I mope about the place thinking of all the things I have never done nor achieved and how I managed to waste yet another year doing nothing.

This year something strange is happening. This year something is different. This year I am NOT freaking out over my birthday.

And....

I have no idea why!

Today G asked me if I wanted to do anything for my birthday tomorrow and instead of saying....'Are you MAD', I said.... 'Yes, ok!'

Then he said 'what' and I answered 'dunno'. So he said, 'well what would you like to do' and I said 'I don't know, but I think I would like to do something'... You may all faint.... NOW.

He didn't seem shocked by my out of the blue, totally out of character, unlike anything I have ever said before, answer. Hmmm now why is that do you suppose, that will drive me nuts trying to work out.

I told my daughters and they asked... 'Would you like to go out for lunch', 'Nahhhhh' I answer. 'What about going out for dinner, Mum?' 'No, I don't want to do dinner either'. 'What about some of the Australia Day celebrations', they ask. 'Definitely NOT. On MY birthday, I think NOT' I tell them.

By this time, everyone gets bored and walks away, but I am actually feeling quite pleases with myself. I actually want to leave the house and either go somewhere or do something for MY birthday. WOW. And I even told them that they have to buy me a pressie this year. I want presents. I even suggested new earphones for my MP3, the one I go walking with, because I don't know if I am the only person in the entire world that can't get those little buds in their ears, but I have the worse time getting them to stay there. My ears are small and delicate and those silly little buds just won't get in there, they are too big and fall out. It was quite the sight, the first time I tried to use them. I had to hold my head in the strangest position trying to keep them in. Naturally it didn't work and they fell out. My daughters looked at me like I was crazy. One said that I was 'challenged' as in 'Mum, you are seriously challenged. If you could see yourself now, trying to keep those ear buds in your ears, you would walk away from you too.'

I ignored her, of course, and asked her if I was missing something. I said, 'they go in the little hole inside your ear, right? Because if they do, that hole is just too small to squeeze them into?' Her response, 'Oh mum, really!!!!!'  With that, she was gone.

So I told them today that I wanted, NO, needed a new pair of external earphones, like the old fashioned ones, that go over your ear and mess up your hair. Those, I can use! I am using a very old pair of them now.

G said he was not getting me anything for my birthday as he already bought me some presents over the last couple of weeks. I said 'Nope, doesn't count. I want a new present tomorrow, on my birthday!' He said 'pfft', well that is my interpretation of what he said. G went on to say, 'but I got you the video camera for your birthday, and the... ' something else, I kinda stopped listening to him, you know how it is when husbands go on and on about something you don't want to hear. When he stopped talking, I just said again, 'that doesn't count'. I wonder if he will give me anything in the morning???

the new video camera  I got as an early birthday present, which doesn't count

My sister phoned me tonight, to tell me something totally unrelated to me, what was with that! So I interrupted her, and said 'Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, tomorrow is my birthday!!!" and she said 'Oh no, I forgot. Luckily you don't celebrate anyway so it doesn't matter'. Then she said, 'hang on, did you just mention that tomorrow is your birthday????'  And I said 'Yes, tomorrow is my birthday' and she said 'Happy birthday for tomorrow' and I said 'Nooooo that doesn't count'. She said a rude word and almost fell off her chair. She wanted to know who I was and what I had done with her sister. I said 'I know, how freaky is this? Tomorrow is my birthday!' She told me to 'Stop that now, it's just not right hearing you so happy on your birthday!' Then she had to go, I think I scared her away.

Today, my business partner asked me what I would like as a present and I politely said 'Nooooo don't be silly you don't have to buy me anything'. But inside I was jumping up and down with glee.... she was going to get me a pressie... woooohoooo.

We also received a phone call tonight from a friend, inviting us to their Australia Day BBQ.  He said that he knew that it was my birthday but if we didn't have anything planned then we were welcome to pop around there for the afternoon. Even that sounds good to me this year.

I feel kind of like a kid, how strange is that. Looking forward to my birthday is so so so NOT me. I should be running away from the world. I should be depressed and woeful. Like my sister said, 'who am I?' Maybe, just maybe this year will be a good year. Maybe.

Quiet Time With Music

the mud along my river walk after the flood

So you will notice every now and then that I lead a very boring life and that it mostly consists of, well nothing really. As my day was so boring today I was going to do a profile on one of my dear facebook friends, one of my exciting friends. I have a few exciting facebook friends who would be horrified to think that I was blogging about them, so it would be perfect, right.

But then....

I went for a walk....

Uggggg, not again I can hear you saying. But wait, don't stop reading, this was not an ordinary walk. Truly it wasn't, and I will tell you why.

It was a work day for my daughter today so I had to stagger out of bed and drive her in my sleep... again. Upon returning home, I had the usual argument with myself, but today, I won!!! So I fell back into bed and slept until 11am. After doing a teeny bit of work and checking into facebook to see what was happening in my cyber world, I started thinking about 'the walk'. I knew I would have to wait until the afternoon as the UV index is off the page between 10-3pm here, and I am not allowed to get sunburnt, so I filled in the time daydreaming, you would be amazed how fast the time goes when you are lost in never never land.

My husband G, has taken today and tomorrow off 'sick'... just because, so he was around most of the day. But he had gone out in the afternoon and at 4pm he phoned to say he would wait around for my daughter to finish work and bring her home.

It was then that I had the brainwave. If I leave now, right now for my walk, then I can go alone and play my music. Oh what fun that would be.

This is where it gets interesting...

It took me at least ten minutes to get ready and leave, probably a tad longer. There was sunscreen to apply, and of course I had to make myself beautiful, then I had to get the dog and do my stretching before I could start. With that all taken care of I was off on my walk. But by this time it was getting close to the time that G would be zooming home, and he can drive very fast so I had to think.

It was hard to think with my cool music bopping in my ears as I am easily distracted, but I made a plan. I wanted to walk by myself today so I had to find a way around the main roads that G would be driving along so he wouldn't see me and ask why I hadn't waited for him. As soon as I was at the river I knew I would be safe.

So there I was jiving to my music and singing very quietly to myself I am sure, as I was darting in and out of side streets to make my way to the river. I didn't go the regular way because he was bound to go that way when he discovered I was missing, so that he could catch up to me. He is a speed walker and would catch up in no time at all.

Finally I was at the river... bliss. I was strolling along, quietly singing and bopping to my 'tunes', just me and my puppy. I was stopping here and there to take photos of the mud left behind after the flooding and puppy was having a lovely time smelling all the yucky smelly mud without being pulled along before she had finished her investigating.

my puppy having a glorious time investigating the smelly mud

After about 45 minutes I was actually amazed that I hadn't received a phone call from G asking where I was, but that was just a fleeting thought before I got back to more important thoughts,like my music.

But then...

I looked ahead of me and saw someone walking towards me, and I said to myself, 'o-ohhh, I know that walk'. Yep, it was G and he was gaining fast. Sigh, there goes my quiet time.

As he approaches me I smile innocently and wave ' Heyyyyyyyyyyyy, Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii' I say sweetly. He asks me why I didn't wait for him but before I can answer he looks down at the dog who is very excited to see G here, and in a shocked tone  he says...'Is that mud on the dog's feet, you let her walk in that smelly mud???'  'Oh, umm, yeah, she just did that when she saw you coming', I say quickly. G is NOT impressed, dunno why!

G takes the dog leaving me free to wander and listen to my music without having to try to keep her out of the mud. He is saying something to me but I can't hear as I have my music on, still. He has not noticed yet!  But of course he eventually did notice and oh my dear, he was NOT impressed.

Did you know it was dangerous to walk with music in BOTH of your ears, why anyone could come up behind me and hit me over the back of the head and then what would happen to the dog!!!! Excuse me, the dog????  And how can one hear the bikes ringing their bells to pass me, if I have music in both ears and the dog on such a long lead, after all I do wander all over the path and forget to stay to the left hand side. Hmm, I survived just fine, thank you by myself I think to myself.

As he is pointing out all the other irresponsible things I was doing whilst having music in BOTH ears, I tune out and go back to listening to that bad bad music. And I would have gotten away with it too, had a good song not come on and I accidently let out a few bars of the song.

Well the look on his face when he turned to me was enough for me to stop listening and start being responsible.

Big sigh... it was fun while it lasted. I wonder when I will get to be irresponsible again and listen to my music while I walk. Maybe I can perfect the art of sneaking out for my walk, that was fun too.

Car Shopping

It's Saturday, it must be  car shopping day. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh joy.

My daughter's car is broken, well it is still drivable but it is broken, so she needs a new one. I figured, wrongly, that father and daughter would spend a delightful day, happily going from one boring car yard to the next until she had found her dream car. I figured I would have some blissful quiet alone time while this expedition took place, the last thing I figured was that I would be ordered to attend the frightful outing.

The happiness starts before we have even left home. There is a discussion over which type of car she is hoping to get today and apparently 'pretty' just doesn't give G enough to go on. It made perfectly good sense to me, but I was not permitted any input so I just sat back and observed. I might try to influence my daughter and that was just not on!

The next question was a natural progression to what was the price range she wanted to spend and of course she gave the correct answer of 'not too much' which didn't have the desired effect on her father that she intended. But after a few more questions and lots of pointing to lots cars in the newspapers and car magazines all spread out before them and with the main description of 'a pretty car that's not too old and doesn't cost too much', we were off to a very stressful and tense start to the day.

I figured, wrongly again, that G had done all the ground work and would know which car yards to go to and that this painful experience would not be dragged on for too long. But no, I was mistaken. He took us to big car yards and small car yards, to pretty car yards and even one that looked like every car had been either stolen or retrieved from the tip. We both refused to go into that one. I shudder just thinking of it, what was he thinking!

We finally arrive at the car yard with the car that G likes and wants Steph to buy. Which strangely is right around the corner from where we live! Yet it has taken us hours to get here... It is not very pretty and it hasn't been detailed yet so naturally straight away neither Steph nor myself like it. Apparently we need to see past the dullness and look at what the car actually offers, oh right, yeah of course... yawn.

G's choice, I forget it's name

Steph and I were ready to move on, we had sat in it, looked at it and checked out the CD player, the drink holders and the speakers... it has to have good speakers. There, that was another important point we discovered to add to the desired 'pretty car that isn't too old and not too expensive', now it has to have 'speakers that aren't 'shot'. What wonderful progress we are making.

A few more car yards, a few more 'discussions' and a piece of bubble gum that went POP one too many times for G later and we arrive at the car yard with the car that I like the most. It is pretty and black and not to old and did I mention... pretty. It is a SAAB 180T, the T stands for turbo, turbo means fast. I am learning about cars, how about that. Steph and I almost bought it right there and then. In my excitement I mistakenly spoke to the sales man (bad move, I saw the look on G's face) and told him we lovvvvvvvvvvvve that car. Apparently we did NOT love that car at all. Ha, who knew. There is a sad ending to my car choice, we are not allowed to buy it as it is too powerful for a P plate driver and it is illegal for her to drive it. So onto the next yard. This is getting very tiring and very boring, very quickly.

My choice but a bad photo of it, it's a SAAB 180T

At long last we arrive at what will be the last car yard for the day as there is only one hour left before closing. This yard only has two cars for us to look at and one of them is green. Green just happens to be Steph's favourite colour. I discover it first as I turned left while they turned right. Right seemed so far away at the time. My first impression of the car was... it's green. Then I thought 'oh it's green, Steph loves green'. So I call out to Steph.... Loooooooooooooooook over here, I found a GREEN car and it's kinda nice ish. They both come over and G is not impressed at all but Steph says 'ooooooooooooooooooooo it's green'. So we sit inside and play with all the buttons, it has a CD player, cup holders, the speakers are not 'shot' and did I mention it was green. It is not too expensive and it's not too old. So Steph falls in love with it. G paces around it like only a man can. humming and ahh-ing. I suggest we look under the bonnet cos I have seen that on movies so we look under the bonnet. Yep there is an engine in there, well that was boring. I try to think of an intelligent question to ask because Steph is asking me what I think. So I ask the sales man 'what kind of petrol does it take? (I know nothing about cars and I know nothing about petrol or how to fill up a tank, can you tell?). Who knew that all new cars have to have unleaded petrol. I have learnt something else today, oh and I have also learnt to keep my mouth shut so as not to ask any more silly questions.

G has decided that we can take the car for a test drive so off we go. Of  course we have to go at 100 km/ph to see what it can do. We have to over take and go backwards and turn around and all that boring stuff. G is not happy with it, he says it is sluggish and has no power. But Steph is in love and just must have this car. So we take the car back and start the dealing process. Of course I had no idea that we had started the process. G asked the man, 'so how much movement is in this car' and the man says 'not a lot I'm afraid'. Now I had no idea what the movement was, but not a lot sounded like a good thing to me but G was not impressed with that answer and asks him again. 'Come on, there must be some movement' he says. But the man says a whole lot of stuff that went right over my head then said 'let me go see the boss' and walks away. That gave me the opportunity to ask G what the movement was and he tells me, he was 'negotiating the price' but that this was 'just to see how they deal in this yard'. So I look at Steph and say, I think he is playing boys games because that is not how I would try to get a discount on the price. The man comes back and says the best he can do is to take $200 off the price because 'blah blah blah' he lost me again with his jargon. So we said we would have a think about it and be back on Monday.

Steph's choice, it's green and called a Hyundai Elantra

Steph says she doesn't want a car that is too expensive and too pretty because she would be worried all the time that she would scratch it or hit something, like the driveway fence. That is why she likes this one, and did I say it was green!.

Well I survived the day, it was hot and boring and stressful. I learnt two things about cars, forgotten one of them already and hope I don't have to go out car shopping again any time soon. Although, my car IS getting old and it is time for me to buy a new one. But mine will be pretty and expensive, just gotta wait for G to say yes.

The Walk

I got off to an energetic start this morning.... I got out of bed! Actually I get out of bed most mornings, but today I got out of bed at 7.40am to take my daughter to work. It is usually an exciting drive when I take her to work as I am always sound asleep and bleary-eyed. And as we all know, driving whilst sound asleep is NOT the most intelligent thing one can do. But with both of us struggling to be alert together, we manage to get there in one piece. Although some mornings I must say I am very pleased to know that my brakes are in tip top condition. But I digress, that is not the point of today's post.

So I managed to get my daughter to work on time and I managed  to return home in one piece very grateful that this is not a task that must be performed every day. I stagger out of the car and into 'decision mode'. Do I fall back into bed or do I go for a walk around the river before the sun comes out and the temperature reaches the mid 30's making it impossible for me to walk.

I figure that I will just pop onto facebook for a minute or two while I am arguing with myself as to what to do.    The argument goes something like this .... do it... no ... do it... can't be bothered... do it... I'm exhausted... do it...what is the point I will never lose this weight anyway...  Dooooo Itttt..... Nooooooo I don't wannnna...DO IT... FINE but in a minute.... big sigh, I never win arguments with myself!

 

a dog and person and bike have been stuck here

I was very pleases with myself as I only stayed on facebook for, well it seemed like ten minutes, so it must have been half an hour, then I went for my walk. It has been interesting walking this last week around the river. Because of the flooding the river has been impassable for the most part, but that has not stopped some strange people trying to get through the water, around the water or over the water. I, myself have had to be creative in finding my path and I actually found a cool little laneway to add to my walk, and it has rabbits running wildly about every time I go there much to my dogs delight. I had no idea we had wild rabbits so close to home. I can add them to the list of snakes, possums and bats. All I need would be to see a fox to make the list complete.

Yesterday the council started the clean up and it continues today. Tractors are scraping up all the smelly gooey mud from the path so we can walk there. The mud is over ankle deep and very slimy and smells awful. I know it is over ankle deep as I have been watching people trying to walk through it, silly people, they lose their shoes and they fall over... giggle and yuck. I am sure it is much deeper in other places, but I am not going to investigate. I am content just to watch them try to investigate for me. I spoke to a very dirty man on a bike who was so proud of himself for making it 'all the way though'. My goodness he was covered from head to toe in putrid mud and so was his bike. He did tell me that 'this end of the river was nothing compared to the other end' as he points back over his shoulder. Then he was off to investigate what muddy fate awaited him ahead.

Usually the walkers, the joggers, the bike riders, the walking groups, the kids, the dog owners, the strollers, the rowers, the coaches on their bikes and the workers are all spread out and I only have to nod and smile, jump out of the way or say 'morning' or 'hello' or 'yes, it's a lovely day' once every 5 or 10 minutes. But today, it was a continual flow of people. My face started to ache from all that smiling... that walking group, for example, was very, very large and very, very friendly, almost too friendly. I mean, did they have any idea how early it was and how tired I was, and how hard it was to be polite at insane o'clock in the morning.... did they? I think not.

We passed, oh my husband 'G' was with me too which I failed to mention earlier. We passed a father with his little son and daughter, all riding bikes. Every time they came to a slight rise in the path, the little girl would stop peddling and the father would come up beside her still on his own bike, grab the handle bars of her bike and pedal off up the slight hill. The three of them passed us in the end and we watch them approach a huge steep section of the path ahead, a section that I need to take a puff of ventolin myself to climb up. I watch with intrigue at what happens next.

The little boy approaches the hill first and as soon as he hits the hill he is off his bike and walking it up the hill. The little girl reaches the hill together with her father. As soon as  she hits the hill she stops pedalling and the father swoops down and grabs the handle bars and pedals off up the hill with daughter in tow. I am impressed as he is basically sideways on his own bike as he leans down to her level. It is quite a sight to witness. I am waiting for him to stop and start walking, because that hill has a very sharp incline about half way up it. But he doesn't get off and he doesn't stop pulling his little girl up the hill. WOW I am impressed but also immensely amused. As soon as the little girl stops pedalling and her father takes over, she starts looking around and singing to herself totally unaware of the strain being put on her father. As they approach the steepest part and her father slows a lot, she yells out to him, 'oh don't stop daddy', then she gets lost in song again and looking from side to side oblivious to her daddy's mammoth efforts. To our surprise, he makes it right to the top and off they all go!

I am now half way around the river the sun decides to rise and get hot instantly. The UV index soars, I can feel it trying to burn me through my clothes so I walk faster to get home. I have had 2 melanoma's in the past and don't intend to get any more. Towards the end of my walk I have to make a choice do I take the quick way home which entails walking up a massively steep hill or do I take the longer way home which zig zags up the hill giving me a few breathers. I don't have time to zig zag so I take the steep way home.

I stagger into the house gasping for air and collapse in a heap. Moments, no, seconds later my phone rings out the Banana Split theme song, telling me I have one hour to get to my physiotherapy appointment. Uggg, no time to collapse now, I must go straight to the shower as soon as I catch my breath.

So there I am taking a cold shower to cool down when I am suddenly overcome with overpowering exhaustion and desperately want to go to sleep. I wash my hair twice as I day dream about being asleep. I wonder if I can power nap whilst in the shower then think that it probably isn't all that practical so I decide against it. But not before actually day dreaming that I was asleep and maybe washing my hair a third time!

this guy thought he could ride around the flood but discovered he couldn't 

The MP3 Player

I got an early birthday present. 

An MP3 player. 

To use on my walks. 

The walks I am doing to lose weight. 

The weight I put on because of medication. 

The medication that saved my life.

So life saved.

Medication stopped.

Weight stayed on.

Hence, the walking.

One day I decided out of the blue that I just had to have one.

I needed to have one.

I could not live without one.

And I definitely could NOT walk without one.

So I got one.

Early.

I spent days putting music on it.

I downloaded everything I could think of from the net.

It has an 8gb capacity so filling it will be an interesting challenge.

Finally.

The day arrives.

I get to go walking alone.

Previously my husband has gone on every walk with me.

For company.

But yesterday

I got to go alone.

Soooooo

Off I go

Walking along the 3.5km walk which I have decided on.

I map my walks on the internet so that I know how far I go each time.

It helps me mentally to know I have walked so far.

I find myself walking well.

Effortlessly in fact. 

Then

I notice

I am bopping along to the music.

Like, actually dancing in the street

Well along the river path, but there are still other people around.

And

I am singing along to the songs.

They are great songs

I am very happy with my choices actually.

But the point is

I realised all of a sudden

That I was dancing and singing out loud

In public.

What would my husband say

If he could see me now?

What would my children say

If they could see me now?

I blush 

I am alone, yet I blush.

I stop

Look around me 

Good, no one is laughing at me.

Phew.

I adjust my earphones

Take a deep breath

And bop off down the path.

It was the best walk I have ever had.

And I was so lost in music

That i actually walked up the massively steep hill without even noticing.

Now that is a big deal.

Conclusion....

Music and exercise do mix

Very nicely!

Reluctant Bridesmaid

About one month ago while I was in Tasmania staying with my mother after my step father had died, my mother received a phone call. I was exhausted after climbing up and down those 21 stairs about a million and three times that day so I saw this phone call as a means to vegetating and a time to regain some energy. I was blissfully off in my own little world day dreaming about all things good when my mothers surprised voice when up a notch, rudely interrupting my quiet time. She said...

OH REALLY, NOOOOOOOO (INSERT EVIL LAUGH) OHHHHH, YOU HAVE TO ASK HER NOW, I HAVE TO SEE HER REACTION, GO ON ASK HER NOW. Well this kind of got my attention and I started listening intently to figure out who my mother was talking to. I had also decided there and then, that if my mother just HAD to see my reaction to whatever the question was, that naturally, there would be NO reaction at all.

I didn't have to wait long, for just a few moments later my mother walks into the room cheerfully chatting away to the unknown voice on the other end of the phone. As she approaches me she tells this voice, 'Ok here she is, I can't wait to see her reaction', and hands me the phone without another word, but with a very large smile on her face.Hmmm

I don't want to take this call at all, I am not amused, but was I going to let my mother know that I was curious, reluctant and a tad grumpy for being taken away from my blissfully ignorant quiet time. NO of course not. So I take the phone and say in my nicest voice.... 'Hello?'

It was my sister's voice on the other end of the phone that answered me. She didn't waste time with any niceties, she got right to the point. 'Heeeeeey Sis... You know how I am getting married?' 'Yes' I reply. 'Well, I would like you to be one of my bridesmaids!' Inside I faint and as I faint I am screaming at the top of my lungs NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. But to the outside world, I am well mannered and polite and calm and composed. So I reply.... 'Really, you would like ME as your bridesmaid, are you sure?' 'Yes I am sure' she replies. 'So what do you say, will you be one of my bridesmaids, I am having both my sisters, so you have to say yes, what do you say?'

My head races. Me, bridesmaid... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, why would she want me, we have nothing in common, we hardly speak to each other, yet she wants me as a bridesmaid... Arrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So of course, I take a deep breathe and say in a calm, yet appropriately happy voice, 'Yes I would love to be your bridesmaid, thank you for asking me. ' What else can I say. One can NOT say NO to such a question. I am numb and shocked that she has asked me, I don't want to do it but I have no choice.

That was one month ago, like I said earlier. Since then I have tried everything I could to get out of it. You know, 'Oh I think I will be out of the country for your wedding, you don't mind do you? Oh, it's on a ????day, awwww sorry I will be working on ???day! Did I tell you I can't have my photo taken, I will be your bridesmaid, but NO photos. The flash gives me seizures. What.... I have to wear a dress, you said nothing about me having to wear a dress, oh, but I don't wear dresses. I have seen this really nice pair of jeans that I could wear though.'

So after a month of these wonderfully supportive comments of mine.... I saw her on the weekend just gone and she started to talk about her wedding. Naturally I told her that I thought she was rushing into this and should wait about oooooooooooooooo a year or two. When suddenly she turns around to me and says 'You don't want to be my bridesmaid do you?' Ha, was it THAT obvious I say to myself, but to her I say 'Why would you say that?' She looks at me seriously and says 'You have been freaking out the more I speak about it, I am waiting for you to have a panic attack, so, would you be happier if I made you the official wedding photographer and not my bridesmaid'?

It was then that I almost jumped up and kissed my sister. Right then, at that moment in time I actually loved my sister. Inside I was doing the chicken dance, I was turning somersaults, I was so happy and relieved. I couldn't contain that excitement, I tried, but it was impossible. I am really NOT the bridesmaid kinda person.

It was about an hour later that I realised that although I had been excused from being the bridesmaid that it dawned on me that she wants me to be the official wedding photographer.... erm hello world, have you not seen my photographs? I have six months of photographs on facebook, one photo every day goes on facebook, that is over 180 photos on view and erm .... I DON'T DO PEOPLE. I do nature, I do bugs, I do easy stuff, I don't do people.

I make a point of asking if she is having an official photographer and she say says 'Yes, you.' I explain that I don't actually photograph people and she said 'So you had better learn, fast, the wedding is in April!'

So I faint again, I scream 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' again, silently on the inside. Looks like I have to take a crash course on Wedding Photography, it can't be that hard, can it!!!!!!

The Nightmare

Oh I forgot to say in my first blog.... last night, I had...... A NIGHTMARE.... daaa da da daaaaaaaaa.

It was very scary, of course.
I had gone to bed, late as usual. But managed to go straight to sleep... yeaaaah. I was sooooooo tired. Anyway, it must have happened practically as soon as i closed my eyes. This is how it went.

I am in bed sound asleep as it is the middle of the night, the bedroom window is open and I am woken up by whispering right outside my window. I strain to hear who is talking and where it is coming from. I am not fully awake so I struggle to listen. I hear two men. One says 'Over here, this one is open, we can get in here, but shhhhhh be quiet, we don't want to wake them... yet'. The other one answers 'Ok, ok I am coming. Good we will get in here'.

I hear some rustling and I see a light shining through the curtains of my room. I am wide awake now, and terrified. I hear my heart pounding and I am suddenly all sweaty. I want to wake my husband who is sound asleep right next to me, but there is no time, the men are trying to get in through the window.

I start to panic, 'what will I do, what will I do. They are coming in. OH NO, OH NO, what can I do!' I yell to myself so desperately yet silently, they can't know that I am awake. I decide that the only thing I can do is try to close the window and lock it before they cut through the fly wire screen. I try to quietly climb out of the bed so that I can sneak over to the window. My heart in now practically jumping out of my chest and also in the back of my throat, I can barely breathe and I am shaking uncontrollably.

I can't move, I can't get out of bed. Why not, what is stopping me, I must get out of bed. I am tangled in the sheets, I am desperately trying to get out of the bed but I am tangled in the sheets. It is a hot night and I have been  throwing the bedding off and on me all night, so naturally, now I am all tangled. I do tend to get tangled with my restless sleeping.

Frantically I am kicking at the sheets to free my feet while staring at the window to see what progress the men are making. I hear one say 'shhhhhh listen' and they both stop moving. I stop suddenly too. I don't make a sound, don't move a muscle, don't even take a breathe. But my heart, surely they will hear my heart, I am thinking they will hear my heart from the house across the street it is making that much noise. My eyes are darting back and forth from the window to my feet, from the window to my feet. I am starting to freak out.

One man says 'snoring like a baby, quick lets get in'. It was then that I got my feet untangled and I spring to the window... fast as lightening yet in slow motion it seemed to me. Since when was the window so far away from the bed. I have never been so scared in all my life.

I make it to  the window and slide under the curtain so that I can grab the window and slide it closed. Well that was my intention. Instead I find myself face to face with a man. We are practically touching we are that close. Both of us are so shocked we both gasp and are taken aback for a second or two. Somehow I recover faster than he does and I make a grab for the window and start to side it closed. Just as it is about to fully close and as I am reaching out my other hand to press the lock, locked. He slips his hand into the tiny space which is still there.

I am not stopping for anything and I keep sliding that window closed as fast and as hard as I can. He lets out the loudest, most horrific scream as the window smashes through his fingers to its home position. My other hand is on the lock and pressing without a seconds thought.

I quickly turn around to jump into the bed so that my husband can take over, so that he can rescue me, so that he will protect me. But...

He is still sound asleep and I stop dead in amazement.

The next thing I know is that I am in bed, tangled in my sheets. I am sweaty and my heart is beating so hard I think it will explode. I am confused. Why is he still asleep. Why am I tangled in my sheets, still, again? I look around the room, I strain my ears to hear any noise, I strain in the dark to look at the window. There is no noise, there is no light, there is nothing untoward happening at all. My husband is asleep, the dog is asleep, and all appears to be well with this little world I live in.

Except... I am terrified. Except... I am shaking uncontrollably. Except... I am confused. Was that a dream? It seemed so real. It was so terrifying, how could that have been a dream, a nightmare, in my head. I can't believe it.

Being to scared to do anything I roll over to get closer to my husband, to cling to him for support until I am able to calm down, until I am able to comprehend that it was just a dream, I find it so hard to believe.

So i am trying to get to my husband, trying desperately to cling to him, to touch him, to feel his presence. But he will have none of it. He grunts and rolls away, so I move closer, He rolls away even more... I think, if he moves over any further he will be on the floor. I manage to find his shoulder before...

He throws his bed covers off and lays on top of the bed and in doing so, leaves me pinned down on the inside of the bed as his weight on top of the bedding cuts me off from moving any closer to him.

Now I know it was just a dream, now I realise that I had made the whole thing up inside my head. Now I know, he won't be there to save me, should two strange men try to break into our house through the bedroom window, he will be too busy sleeping and inching away from me, to notice the terror I am experiencing.

I roll over and face the window, I give up. I look at the clock. I have been in bed less than one hour. I am too scared to sleep. My eyes are still darting around the room, my ears are still straining to hear anything out of order, my heart is still pounding and my body is still shaking.

But for now, I am safe

Hello World

So today is the first day of my blog.
I do like to have a good ramble every now and then, and I was bored and in a strange mood, so what better way to start my blogging experience than to actually sign up.

I discovered there were quite a few blogging sites, ugggg, great, just what I don't need, it's all too hard. All I want is a blog, not a selection of blogging media. then...

I was stalking my friends on facebook, as you do via the news feed, when I came across Patty's page. So naturally I said to myself, self... if it is good enough for Patty, then it is good enough for me. So here I am, here at blogger. Lets just see how this thing goes and if I have the drive to stay with it. Only time will tell of course, only time will tell.

Ok, so I guess this is it for my first blog, I guess I didnt really have that much to say after all.