I Walk To Lose Weight

I walk to lose weight, that’s it, bottom line, no other reason.

I am not a health freak and I do NOT enjoy walking. I don’t find it pleasurable nor do I consider it fun. I don’t mind being outdoors and I don’t mind a stroll, but I have never been the fit or sporty type. I was blessed with a fast metabolism which I took for granted my whole life until I gained weight last year because of medication I was taking, medication I could not live without.

I gained 18 kilos before I told the doctor enough is enough, that I couldn’t handle the weight gain any longer and I would rather die than gain one more kilo. I had asked the doctor twice before if I could stop the medication and each time she said ‘no, not yet’. Neither the doctor or anyone else believed me when I said I had gained that much weight as I was kinda underweight at the start, so to them, I was only just over the upper limits of ‘the healthy weight range’, but to me it was scaring me beyond belief to see my body explode from a loose size 10 to a size 16. I am tall at 178cm or 5’10 so carrying the extra weight was easy to do.

Yes, I know it sounds a tad dramatic but I have never ever been obese in my life. I have always been one of those people who could eat anything I want, in fact I am a chocoholic and used to eat up to one kilo of chocolate a day and not gain an ounce of weight, so to put on a minimum of one or two kilo a week, every week, for no reason was very, very hard to take.

I cut back on food, although I was barely eating in the first place. Chocolate had to go, in fact I was only eating one 55 gram bar a day, which has now been cut back to one every second day. Usually I would have withdrawals from lack of chocolate, but this weight gain was so serious to me, that I barely even noticed the side effects of no chocolate. As chocolate has been my main food type for years I had to find something to replace it so I went to cereal... bowls and bowls of cereal, until I could eat no more, right now I am into vegetables, bowls and bowls of vegetables. I am almost over vegetables too, and have no idea what I will move onto next. You may say, why don’t I eat a normal diet... well if you hadn’t noticed by now, there is nothing normal about me!

I am losing weight slowly, and have been since I stopped the meds. The doctor told me it would fall off once I stopped and I couldn’t wait for it to ‘fall off’ all by itself, but it didn’t. It didn’t because, to rub salt into the wound, my body decided to go into early menopause without permission or prior arrangement from me ... arhhhhhhh.

So, I walk. Every day I walk. I walk until I can’t walk any more. I walk until I need to take 2 or 3 or 4 puffs of ventolin, I walk until I am wet through with sweat and my feet are dragging. I walk to lose weight, full stop.

I have gone down one clothing size so far, I am a size 14, a comfortable size 14. But a 14 is not a 10, nor is it a 12, so I walk and walk and walk. I am starting to see good results now and I am starting to feel better about myself. But I have to get back to at least a size 12 before I can start to be calmer about what has been a nightmare to me.

I have a new found respect for all overweight people, the world over. I am ashamed to say that I used to think every single overweight person everywhere in the entire world was that way because of overeating. I am ashamed at how naive I was, I am ashamed and angry at myself for being so narrow minded.

Until I experienced this scary phenomenon first hand, until I felt the self hatred and insecurity, until I personally out grew 3 dress sizes in clothing, I had no idea what so ever, of what other people were going through. I apologise from the bottom of my heart to anyone who is reading this and is overweight. I apologise for every look, thought or comment I or anyone else had ever undertaken. I hope that every one of you can achieve a weight that you are comfortable with, or if medication prevents this, I hope, unlike me, you are able to deal with it and live with the extra weight brought on by the medication.